My whole life I’ve been aspiring to get to the next phase of it. In high school I couldn’t wait to be in college, in college I couldn’t wait to have a career. When I did begin my career I couldn’t wait to make more money, and when I had money I couldn’t wait to save more, or buy that dream home or become more prominent. And when I had all those things, I still felt like I needed to do more, have more, be more.
Last year, after a year of being divorced, I found myself slipping back into those exact feelings again. I had spent a whole year practicing self love, making a new life for myself and cultivating freedom. Those of you who have been through traumatic breakups or life’s shake ups, know how reaching that one year mark can be pretty empowering, however I found myself back in the cycle of needing to do more, have more and be more. Then, through my determination ( and need I say desperation) of wanting to find a way out of this miserable hole I was digging myself back into, I came across the most amazing three words that I had never heard before : “You, Are Enough”
While surfing the internet for any and every resource, I thankfully came across a video by Marisa Peer, a well renowned hypnotherapist and creator of Uncompromised Life, a MindValley Academy master class. Her talk which is profoundly titled The Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity: “I’m Not Enough”, hit a nerve and after watching it over and over again, I did these two things which truly saved me from falling into another bout of depression, anxiety and negating a year’s worth of work I had already done to feel happier and freer. In bright red lipstick, I wrote on my bathroom mirror “I AM ENOUGH”, and I put a daily reminder on my phone with those same words. Every day I committed to reading those words, even if I didn’t feel it and over the next few months here’s what I experienced:
I Became a Super Attractor of Friends And Connections
In feeling that I wasn’t enough, I didn’t realize how much of a guard I had put up which created a barrier between who I truly was and who people saw me as. Through my daily practice, I became more fun, more vulnerable and ultimately real. Here in this space, I had to accept that I wasn’t the amazing persona that I subsconciously put on for others but just a person who was sometimes lost, mostly silly, making mistakes and learning from them. By becoming authentic, I started attracting other people who were real, and conversations became deeper and soulful.
I Found Gratitude in My Work
My attitude toward work changed and although in some ways I knew I was lucky to have my role at my company, I was no stranger to thinking I should have been paid more for what I do. However, when we were told we wouldn’t receive bonuses and potentially no pay raises this year I amazingly found myself saying to my boss “I’m just happy to have this amazing job, and even though I complain sometimes, I really don’t need a raise or another title..I just love being here and I love my life”. I even started caring more at work, and as the universe gives us more opportunities when we’re grateful, co-workers began pulling me into bigger projects and decisions that added to my value.
I Found Peace
I stopped feeling miserable and found peace in the simple things like eating ice cream and watching Netflix or allowing myself to be OK with not folding my laundry. I gave myself permission to not be perfect, or accomplish everything on my to do list, and something miraculous happened…I now created more space in my mind and time to allow for more fulfilling things to come into my life. I joined a yoga studio, I launched this website, and I ultimately allowed myself to be more human.
I now know that what I went through is part of an epidemic that we face, and I can’t help but think of how important it is to be taught that we are enough from an early age. The messages we receive as children such as we aren’t smart enough, beautiful enough, well behaved enough or driven enough, cultivate a perception of lack in our adulthood. What’s worse is when we experience traumatic events in our childhood which can lead us to a whole slew of issues we face with self acceptance and even pass on to the next generation. In allowing myself to feel enough, I was able to find peace in my true self and embrace the real me. So let me end on this note: Be the real you that’s waiting to emerge, embrace yourself as you are, because you my lovely, YOU are Enough.